pretty people

hopita

12:00 am - It was just a Baby Ruth bar ...

OK, somebody explain this to me, because I'm not sure that I get it:

In the latest Activia commercial, two women are sitting by the side of a pool. One says she's going to go for a swim, and the other says that she can't, because she's feeling "irregular."

So my question is this: She's constipated so she can't swim? That doesn't really make sense to me, but if that is the case, then didn't she know that before she came to the pool? And if so, then why didn't she beg off before getting into a swim suit and getting all the way to the pool?

The only other possibility I've come up with is that perhaps she's afraid she's going to take a dump in the pool, though that seems like a really odd image for an American TV commercial to be promoting.


Also, I'm curious: does anyone get the movie reference in my subject line?

hopita

03:02 pm - Bye bye, you racist fuck!

Jesse Helms is finally dead.


And, in the words of sabotabby*: "check Wikipedia now! before they change it."


* No, I don't believe she's the original author. She's just the one who alerted me to its glorious existence.

mot0ki

11:08 pm - no internets

Hellooooo

Last time I posted, I talked about skunk urine thanks to asparagus. You all said, "OMG I DON'T SMELL MY PEE" well folks, neither do I. But when it smells funky, your nose knows.

Anyway.

I got another jobbbb! I am a new Barnes and Noble cafe worker. I start tomorrow from 3-10, and I am kinda excited. I need to find more black pants, however. At least wait a week or so to get coffee, because I don't know how to make anything.

While at work, I found a dollar book bin, and I bought a few things. One book I bought was called "Japanese American Ethnicity: The Persistence of Community." (It sells on amazon for 25 bucks!!) The lady at the register said, well if it's awful at least it was only a dollar.

My mom bought me a PedEgg. It's ok... nothing to write home about. All I wanted to do was dump out my foot shavings, and I barely got any! So what if it's safe for use on a balloon, it doesn't scrape my feet!

Well, that's that. Bye until something funny happens.

hopita

03:06 pm - Rant, Part II.

Also, I'm not completely sure, but I think my new watch may have swastikas all over it.



See the little blue things? I dunno ... you tell me.

hopita

11:01 pm - Cock Ring Ken.

Through a random series of events, I ended up finding one of my favorite articles ever online. Note that it says it was written by "Don Savage." It kind of reads like it could be Dan Savage, but I don't know for sure. Sadly, the best line of the article got typoed; it should be "While Ken now has a cock ring, he still doesn't have a cock."


ETA:
Of course it was Dan Savage! Sheesh. Here is a much cleaner link.

hopita

11:49 pm - Honey Rose and Ruby Lips.

And now, a horrifying little game found by way of trappedinabay:

Porn Star or My Little Pony?

I got two of them right. And both of them were porn stars.

jimothyrawks

09:28 pm

“Gays can’t have kids—other than going to the abandoned kids store and getting one or two, or borrowing sperm from someone with more sperm than brains—so by definition they’re out of the marriage game.”

jimothyrawks

01:27 am

There are few things better than talking to some drunk irishmen about fighting and spuds on your porch on a cool summer night.

I wonder where they came from.

hopita

05:36 pm - No closer to closing.

My closing's been postponed. Again.

I am not especially happy about this.

mot0ki

10:39 pm - Is this weird to be posting on LJ?

I love asparagus, but I notice it makes my urine smell funny. What's going on?
By Elizabeth Somer, MA,RD

Aug. 14, 2000 -- You may have heard the tall tale that "asparagus urine" is linked to higher intelligence. In fact, it's the result of a simple chemical reaction. Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. (It's also found in rotten eggs, onions, garlic, and in the secretions of skunks.) When your digestive tract breaks down this substance, by-products are released that cause the funny scent. The process is so quick that your urine can develop the distinctive smell within 15 to 30 minutes of eating asparagus.

But not everyone has this experience. Your genetic makeup may determine whether your urine has the odor -- or whether you can actually smell it. Only some people appear to have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan into its more pungent parts. A study published in the May 1989 British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that 46% of 115 people tested produced the odor in one group of British citizens, while 100% of 103 people produced it in a group of French citizens. The ability to smell the by-products may also be genetic. Another study published in the same journal found that 10% of a group of 300 Israeli Jews could not detect the odor. In other words, a person's urine could smell, but he or she might not know it. Judging from your question, you can do both. But that's nothing to worry about.

While eating asparagus may make your urine smell strange, it won't harm you. Actually, asparagus -- a member of the lily family along with garlic, onions, and leeks -- is a powerhouse of nutrients. It's an excellent source of folic acid (a B vitamin that may help protect against birth defects, heart disease, and cancer), a significant source of vitamin C (an antioxidant that may protect tissues against damage), and a good source of vitamin A (an antioxidant). Not to mention that asparagus contains 3 grams of fiber per 3.5-ounce serving and a host of health-enhancing plant chemicals, or phytonutrients, that may protect against disease.

Although the link between "asparagus urine" and higher intelligence is a figment of someone's imagination, eating it regularly could be a sign of some serious health smarts.

Taken from: http://www.webmd.com/content/article/43/1671_51089

Let's just say, I ate asparagus today.

Does this happen to anyone else?? Yes? No? Comment please.

hopita

03:46 pm - One of the secrets I've been holding ...

It's official: Dan's put in his two weeks' notice.

I know folks have some pretty wildly divergent opinions about the guy, and I've certainly complained and kvetched more than my fair share, but damn it: I love the guy, and work without Dan is just never going to be the same. I dig having a boss who laughs like Krusty The Clown. I wish him well, but I'm kinda heartbroken.

the_kidego

06:15 pm

So, there isn't too much to say recently. I am still here, still doin' the same thing. Still finding new and creative ways to sabotage myself. But I have also learned that I tend to sabotage myself, so I can be one step ahead of my own sabotage attempts. Hence, I manage to live a relatively normal life.

More and more people seems to slip out of my life as time goes by. And the ones that don't constantly surprise me with their refusal to do so. It's nice to know that some people will not forget me despite long lapses in contact. Not that I would blame them. I am as much at fault as anyone else. Day to day life is what causes most people have the connections that they do. And I have missed out on most of that for the last few years. I think the friends that transcend time are probably the real ones, but I am not trying to define anything for sure at this point.

Anyway, I should be back in the states in late July or around then.

Current Mood: bored

mot0ki

10:11 pm - So

So I've been getting IMs recently from people with the screen name _____Salmon, most recently CredulousSalmon.

I was worried it was some kind of hacker, but I guess it's a bot where when someone updates a website like LJ, they get your screen name and it's more of a less threatening conversation tactic....... so I am updating again to see what happens.

http://community.livejournal.com/themissinghat/profile

this is a website describing what is happening. I thought I was just crazy.

mot0ki

10:03 pm - Oh!

I just found a whole bag of M&Ms I bought like, 3 weeks ago.

Score!

jimothyrawks

07:16 pm - ahaha james dobson

"[T]he boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."

hopita

09:27 am - George Carlin.

Holy crap -- I just found out that George Carlin died.

I worked with him once, on the movie Dogma. I worked in the locations department, and we shared an office with the Teamsters, who were all big George Carlin fans. Consequently, he spent more time in our office than any of the other actors in the film.

It's been too many years (ten?) since our first meeting for me to recall exactly what he said, but I remember distinctly that he made a real effort to include me in the conversation (in a roomful of Teamsters, it's easy for the locations chick to be left out), and that he was full of jokes -- not of the doing-a-schtick variety, but more of the making-everyone-feel-at-ease sort. You know -- it was Bill Murray, who wanted to see everyone have a good time, versus Chevy Chase, who wanted everyone to see how clever he was.

I guess the moral of my story is that while I didn't know him well, I did know George Carlin to be a really warm and funny guy, and it thoroughly sucks ass that he's gone. So, in honor of his passing:


Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits!

hopita

09:01 am - Desk.

My desk is gone.

Catherine sent me an email this morning. Apparently they were cleaning the hallway and moved it out onto the sidewalk with a bunch of other stuff, and while it was out there, somebody took it. She said she'd be on the lookout for something similar to replace it.

So yes, just one week before I finally had someplace to put it, somebody stole my desk.

hopita

09:54 pm

I'm home.

Someone stole my desk.

(Well, hopefully not. It was on the downstairs porch and I'm hoping that Catherine just moved it somewhere).

My bathrobe smells like hotel. I find that very soothing at the moment.

I can see myself in the crowd shots of today's Dayton Daily News article. Wish I'd remembered to grab a paper before I left town.

More once I've slept. Oh, and mad props to draw_in_yellow for keeping my cats happy, healthy and well-fed. Did you finally get the scaredy-cat to be friendly?

hopita

04:58 pm - Voice Post

VoicePost 253K 1:27

(no transcription available)

mot0ki

10:39 am - writing in WordPad

Well, thank goodness birthday is over. I like birthdays, just not my own. I feel like birthdays are only special for certain years.... anything under 10, 16, 18, 21, but really, what's so special about 23? Nothing. So I tried to treat it more like just a normal day.

My aunt canceled the internet yesterday, so I am back to dial up at random parts of the day because my grandparents need the phone. I need to get a job and have 50 bucks a month to get it back....... ugh.

I just signed on... ohhhh the soothing sound of dial up.

I also think I am going through a midlife crisis or something. I just need something new in my life... I've been looking at cars I don't have money to buy, I've been thinking about switching to ATT from Verizon, and I've been considering getting a puppy. All three are bad choices because I don't have money for a car or a new cell phone, and who am I kidding? I can't take care of a puppy.

Monday is the day, though. I am applying to another round of jobs. I am applying to the Court House for a maintenance position (10.50 an hour) and then I'm applying at Michaels (the craft store) and I am going to call Barnes and Noble back to see if they actually have my application.

My GEOS interview is quickly approaching! July 11th.... I need to know if anyone is coming with me so I can get train tickets. Sooooo let me know.

Well, now it's time to reply to go through all my facebook HAPPY BIRTHDAY wall posts and reply to the people who I care to.

See you around the internets sometime!